i'll talk to god myself, thank you very much

so walking in the streets of beirut, an old lady was asking for handouts. she was sitting in a strategic location, where a pole narrows the sidewalk enough till you can't pass by without noticing her. she was sitting there asking for help, and exclaiming in a loud voice how she's asking god to bless you.

which made me think.

(a) i don't need your help in asking god for anything. if i were inclined to do so, i would speak directly to him myself - not sure what value you add in the process. you don't exactly inspire a preferred relationship with the creator

(b) i think your product is bogus. i mean, wouldn't you say it's quite inefficient for you to ask god to bless me in return for me to help you, instead of asking him to help you directly? surely all the time and energy you spend asking god to bless people will be much more effective if it's channeled directly at you? as such, your prayers are not incentive at all for me to help.

we're all socialists at heart - even americans!

obama has been a victim of his own ambition. i've read an excellent article on businessweek. however, i would like to quote a few points in there:
"Political equality is a sacred idea to Americans; economic equality, however, is not"
"The United States, according to this study, is a nation of people who would like to spread the wealth around. They just don't know it.
Can it really be that simple? In part, this work fits into a proud tradition of social science research demonstrating the basic ignorance of the average American."
"Yet studies have also shown that voters have an impressive ability to absorb information that contradicts their beliefs without letting it change their minds."
really these snippets do not give the article its justice, though it does do a good job of some american bashing. apologies to ethan in advance.

but it also highlights a bigger problem in human psyche: it is dangerous for intelligent people to try to explain things to idiots. see an intelligent person will stop at points they don't understand, they will put in the effort to understand. an idiot will just apply their own prejudices and assume they "got it". long live idiocy!

the dubai class chasm - in one sentence

"let the guys from almusalla come to friendly challenge class - we'll pay for their metro"
- ahmed, in difc

the social network

i have recently watched the social network. excellent movie. excellent writing, excellent acting, gripping drama and so fucking relevant. excellent movie. in fact, i left the theater thinking this: will our kids grow up and be shown this movie in schools, as a historical overview of their social environments. i mean it brought to mind the bigger question of whether facebook will become the default interaction environment?

i mean, how many times do you email a friend to touch base? maybe to share docs and stuff, but just to say hi, or organize an outing, or to share pictures, facebook is the place to go. think of this: how many times do you find posts on facebook where people post something like "lost my phone, inbox me your numbers" or "got bbm, my pin is xxxx". so facebook is becoming the default mode of communication, more essential than a mobile phone.

which brings to mind another interesting conflict (got a few hits in the news recently): google vs facebook. why would a search company have beef with facebook? two points, (a) small one, google is trying to flex its social muscles, with things like buzz and latitude, etc. so facebook's dominance is tough to break. (b) big one, facebook is a world closed on itself: google can't search it. google's search capability, linked to its ad revenue, is the company's bread and butter. the fact that google had its applications open to facebook but not vice versa, finally dawned on them as a point of contention, and now they closed the interfaces. in other words, if facebook won't share info, google won't share either. interesting.

so this takes me back to my original point: will our children be facebooking or googling? which one is more important? the case for google is simple: it democratizes information. the ability to reach a very specific piece of information quickly and with relevant results is google's secret. it's an amazing ability that can't be binged or yahood. for facebook: it's simple as well, it's simply connecting people. the ability to get and keep in touch is amazing. i think that google is more important, but that's the engineer in me. some will identify facebook, for those who value human interaction more than human intellect.

one thing has to be kept in mind though, which is sometimes missed. both these companies work towards one common goal: money.

why shut down your pc

Turn it Off from Nigel Upchurch on Vimeo.

effective marketing

is it just me, or does the poster below make you want to come nowhere near this place?

and in the news...

apple fanboys - behold your messiah

it is no secret i hate that black turtleneck-wearing motherfucker. jobs can choke on one of his glorified iphones for all i care. he's an uptight conceited sob who has a following that defies all logic. his latest piss-match is here. fucker.

so idiots insist on holding onto their idiocy

although this comes as no surprise to me, an independent scientific study came to the conclusion that people will believe scientists only if they confirm what the idiots already "know". otherwise, they'll consider the scientist a moron. of course this explains a lot of the idiocy in the world (think the anti-vaccine movement, the no-global-warming movement, etc).

the mirror of self-deception

as you might've noticed from previous posts, i'm a regular at the gym. in one of the locker rooms, the locker i usually use is right in front of a full-length mirror. the other day i was changing, noticed myself in the mirror and thought "whatever it is you've been doing in the gym, it's working". man i looked great in that mirror. with an ego boost and skip in my step, i headed to the showers. i was passing other mirrors on the way there and stopped. hmmm. this reflection is more like the ones i'm used to. i tried other mirrors and sure enough, i looked the same. it's that one mirror that made me look good.

i went back to it and the grim truth hit me: the mirror is slightly concave. it "slims" one. i dubbed it the mirror of self-deception. it's my new best friend.

why america simply bombs everyone

have some respect, dammit!

now what i want here is for someone to explain how i can drink respectfully. do i stand up before drinking? bow to the bottle first? or do i walk up to everyone not drinking and apologize?

you're in the fucking gym. people drink water because they're working out. get over it.

an idea incubated

two drunkards:

"dude"
"dude"
"you know what's fucking awesome?"
"what?"
"big-ass ferris wheels"
"ferris wheels?"
"big ass ones"
"dude ferris wheels are boring"
"not big-ass ones"
"yes, big ass ones"
"hmmm.. how about a big ass one that's hovering over water?"
"umm.. over water.. hovering? hanging!"
"yes hanging! fucking hanging over water, with the shit holding it up all tilted"
"fuck yeah! and instead of beams, we'll hang the whole thing on fucking cables!"
"yes, yes, and we'll make it spin!"
"but how do we build it?"
"easy.. we build it over the water, then we hoist it into the vertical"
"yeah"
"fuck yeah"
"fuck YEAH"

how the london eye was envisioned. true story.

bad, bad movies

i don't get it. those people who try to incorporate science into movies. some do it well. some explain it well. but others just seriously fuck it up. i mean fuck it up so bad that it ruins the movie. and i'm not talking about the specific weight or uranium messed by a few tenths of a percent, i'm talking about something like iron man, where the rich genius "invents" a new element in his basement. wtf. he levels his home-built accelerator with a fucking metal emblem.
oh and how fuck do people using computers in csi and criminal minds not use mice. they furiously type on their keyboards, yet their screens magically show pictures popping up, recordings being analyzed. so much bullshit.
writers and producers, before bringing science into a movie, consult a 5th grade science book. thank you.

a new hope - uncut

there are not enough words to describe this. must watch.

waiters - stay away from me. further. further more. i can still see you...

ok seriously, wtf is up with waiters who keep hovering after they drop off the menus? does anyone else feel the pressure to order asap? i mean you try to focus on the food, but they're always there in your peripheral vision, standing calmly, judging you. and as soon as you glance up, they're next to you in an instant, smiling and their hands shakily holding the pen and pad, so eager are they to take your order. you then start mumbling your order, carefully trying to read the exotic names they have for their food. but of course you mess it up, and the waiter corrects you by brightly - and loudly - repeating the name correctly. you're still nervous at this stage, but a little relieved that that part is over and he's moved on to the next person. the trauma goes on, until everyone finishes and you breathe a sigh of relief, thinking it's over, until he hits you with "anything to drink" and you're fucking hell i totally forgot to look at the drinks menu.

save a tree - don't print this blog

you know what's the first thing that crosses my mind when i see those self-righteous email signatures that have a small picture of a tree begging you not to print the email unless your life depended on it? printing it out just to kill a fucking tree. in fact, it makes me want to print out all the emails, documents and pictures i have on my pc, then hit the internets (yes, internets) and start printing out fucking wikidepia. the whole fucking thing, starting with the page about trees.

killing mother earth - on tree at a time

stay away from the cookies!

"Every fiber of your being will want to go back to the old way of doing things. Inevitably, you’ll slip. And if I were uncharitable, I’d see you going back to the old way and I’d say, You’re so lazy. Why can’t you just change?"

it has the wifis

"they could put out a fucking brick and call it an iphone if they wanted to"

sheep: how do you lure them in?

i am engineer. to my eyes, all women's bags and shoes look the same. i'm not talking about a red bag versus a black one. my poor brain almost exploded looking at a catalog in bloomingdale's with seemingly identical bags ranging in price from $300 to $3,000. i looked really hard for something different but didn't see anything. i decided to do a hands-on investigation, by picking up a bag and comparing it to another ten times as expensive. instead of finding blast-proof coating, emp-resistive lining or diamonds lining the zipper, the $3,000 bag had the same crap that made the normal (albeit still overpriced) bag.

the same applies to shoes. ridiculously expensive shoes. a month's salary pair of shoes. i mean a couple of pieces of leather with a week's labor? but, of course, i forgot that those people cater to sheep. yes, you lady, with the criminally expensive footwear, you're a sheep. bags, shoes, etc, etc. but what really got me thinking was this: how do you lure the sheep in? allow me to explain: when i buy a normal car, i pay for material, labor and r&d. when i buy a sports car, add some prestige. when i buy an exotic, i buy all the above, plus the name. but basically, the is usually parts, labor and r&d. simple. the same applies to software: labor, overhead and the perceived value (how much roi it will bring me).

so back to luring the sheep: if the bag i produce costs me $50, how the fuck do i determine its selling price? surely $2,000 was not arrived at using the methodology used for cars and software (unless i want a 4,000% margin). so from my hands-on investigation, i've arrived at the following conclusion: i pull the number out of my ass. i understand that quality costs money, but for fuck's sake, unless it contains some exotic materials (like radiation protection), a bag will not cost more than $100 to mass produce. so for all you sheep out there: not only are you blindly following other misguided souls, you're paying prices pulled out of an ass.

ah, to be a woman in saudi

so i was watching an ad on tv the other day: there was this girl flipping on one of these gymnast saddle kinda things, and the caption underneath read "i might not be able to vote, but i can get a country to its feet" and as she finishes the the jump the audience, on its feet, goes crazy. then another shot saying "i might not be able to drive, but i can fly". at this point i really wasn't seeing the picture, only focusing on the captions. the third shot was "i might not be able to get into a club, but i can make you dance"

at this point i felt my blood heating. this was an ad about women's rights and it was all the things that women in saudi (and other advanced countries) can't do: they can't vote, they can't drive, and all hell will break loose if they as much as pass by a club. men in these countries, these fucking assholes dictating their fucked up points of view on the women (and human right's organizations questioning their acts). it's a bit of ignorant religious beliefs, tribal habits and blind ego concoted by men stuck in the 11th century into a faux religion that drives women in these country into a sheep-like state that often leads to rebellion.

the next caption was "i can't get a tattoo but i can ink history". but then the ad finished and it wasn't an ad about women's rights. it was an ad about youth olympics. yes, that's exactly it! women in these countries are treated like kids: people who are simply incapable of taking decisions for themselves.

TorrentReactor buys its own Russian town for $148,000

yes, that actually happened. not happy with the rules? buy a town and make your own!

was away for a while. in cyprus. kicks ass btw

sharing the love.

pahos

agia napa

nissi beach

troodos mountains

more apple bashing - sorta

i don't hate iphones as much as i might have led to believe in this blog. i hate many things about them (their fans, blind followers, seriously missing features, their fans, again - you're getting the idea). but looking at things from a wider perspective, a longer-timed one, the iphone has done to the modern mobile phone what nokia had once done to the digital mobile phone. with a couple of exceptions, the world has seen year after year of innovative mobile phones coming out of finland. they didn't always have the best phones around, but looking at the history, they've consistently delivered high-quality, innovative phones. the exception to that are the us (they were drowning in prehistoric motos) and japan (who have phones form 2014, today)

the iphone, of course, isn't a phone. it's a mobile application device that happens to have a phone function. think of the ipod touch, or the ipad: they're iphones without the "phone". the apple line of mobile application platforms has certain things in common: funky user interface, cool effects and capabilities and a relentless focus on the user experience. more importantly, it has fueled the mobile device innovation (intellectually, technologically and financially): if you can think of it, there's probably an application out for it. so the iphone literally changed how we think about mobile application devices: they're not mobile computers (think windows mobile and shudder), they're not phones with apps (think nokia), they're not email with a phone (think bb): they're something different altogether. they're iphones.

so why do i hate the iphone? well, there are a few things that make my cringe and never allow myself to buy one. the first is the simplest: the asshole jobs, and his minions. don't get me wrong, i appreciate his innovation, but i hate his black sweater and his attitude. it's not that he understands what people want, it's that he argues with them when they disagree. copy-paste, multi-tasking and video conferencing are functions he originally claimed that people don't really need, then he introduced them as "new" features. to be honest he's smart to do that: he realizes people are sheep and the minions will take his word for gospel. despite these being available on nokia ages ago, on the iphone they became "cool".

second, the less personal but more relevant reason: the iphone business model. apple has complete control over their phones and everything surrounding them, including the applications. they can decide what applications can be developed or not, and thus limit what developers can do. they are actually notorious for refusing certain apps or censoring others, with no clear guidelines other than jobs' whims. working with apple is bittersweet: the potential for money is great but so is the potential for risk. well fuck em. but there's more. how many models of the iphone are available for sale right now? one. apple, the iphone master, controls everything about their device. a high-end, expensive device, which has applications only they control.

then android came along. here was a platform that was just as cool (though admittedly far less mature), but it looked at things differently. first: the os was open source, which means that anyone was free to modify or make changes to it. second: open hardware, which means that anyone can build an android device (even tablets like android better). third: anyone can develop anything, including shit that changes the layout. in fact, they have a new development platform that allows the average george to build apps. everything was free except the hardware. how cool is that? when google's nexus one came out people were wondering if it was an iphone killer. it wasn't. it wasn't meant to be. it was meant to highlight what an android device could be - should be. it was a statement about how innovative platforms can look like.

so where does that leave us? well, i will refer you to two points in the past. the first: apple vs. microsoft. apple insisted on building computers that they controlled in. microsoft, on the other hand, just did windows and told everyone: get your own damn hardware. what that resulted in was macs that were consistently functional and well-built, but were expensive and "unique", but windows machines that were flexible and highly configurable. sound familiar? ms ran windows on every piece of hardware it could find: that created some slow machines, shit machines, but it was accessible. anyone could buy a windows machine. people still buy macs, but despite what you see in the movies, they're only used by either pretentious iphone owners or graphic designers. the second point stops at the largest seller of mobile devices by far. not apple or google or bb: the humble nokia. despite all the jazz around all the other handsets, nokia sells more than all of them combined. four of the five top selling phones of all time are nokia devices. looking closely, you'll not be surprised to notice that the top selling devices are, above all else, cheap. and that's the other place where android will always be different: you can run it anywhere. you don't need to buy a beautiful piece of hardware to get it. even today, you see "low end" android devices. they don't have the fastest processors or 147 megapixel cameras, but they do allow you to run a lot of android apps.

over the next two years, i see things playing out as follows. first, apple will still remain an innovator, in technology and user interface concepts. second, nokia will put its ailing symbian os to sleep and adopt android for their devices. third, android will become the windows of the mobile world: though it might not only player out there, it will be dominant. i do not hate iphones but i won't buy them for the same reasons i don't buy a mac. history has taught me that.

the cash cows

meet swipely.

a friend generously directed me to this link, demanding i blog it, banging the metaphoric table top, yelling about how idiotic it is.

i would ask her to calm down, and give people some slack. see although i would agree with her that it's idiotic in a sense, it's pure genius in another. maybe late, but genius. i am fortunate enough to have the advantage of working in the it industry and i know how people think that social networks in any form are christ reborn. i mean, who would've thought that a platform that allows you to broadcast what you had for breakfast or what you think about the news would prove to be such a force? or how about facebook? that same friend who recommended this adamantly refused to join facebook finally relented, despite the social overflow she suffers from it.

so from a startup/vc perspective, the idea sounds like pure gold. i mean, look at me omg i just bought a purse, ooooooo my friend's purse is so nice i need to buy one, blah blah. even some men will wet their pants about this. of course it's seriously late: there's foursquare, chattertree, facebook's website updates, last.fm, rdio, the list is infinite really for social networks, but hey, why the fuck not.

but it's really idiotic for the exact same reason: who gives a flying fuck what you bought? idiots.

out-sarcasting myself

so i am attending a training for our contact center solutions, one that allows us to demo the solution. one of the features is a web-based chat. so how do you demo a chat? you start both clients and start sending texts between them. what the demo designers didn't expect is having someone like me playing with this. i sent something, but to make things intersting, i replied with a witty reply. then i replied sarcastically to that. this back and forth for a while until i realized what i was doing. then i felt sorry for myself.

appholes

New Apple Friend Bar Gives Customers Someone To Talk At About Mac Products

the sad truth about print press

Boston Globe Tailors Print Edition For Three Remaining Subscribers

before you unleash your eloquent comments on the internets

please consider the damage you cause to the minds and ears of those of us who actually know and understand english grammar. despite my best efforts, there seems to be little understanding of what an english sentence constitutes. to that end, i link you to english grammar 101! for everyone who's ever slept through english classes, for those who limit their reading to i can has cheezburger and 4chan, for you who hesitate (or not at all) before writing you're, that link is for you!

link link link link link link link

link

awesome - i love the workers!

android blues

so i got a new android device. for those technically challenged, android is, in addition to being a humanoid robot, a mobile device operating system (read: cell phone). it's cool in a number of ways, but the difficulty arises when you use it and the desktop one after the other. i find myself wanting to swap screens on my windows machine and wondering why words don't auto-correct or auto-capitalize.

lack of information

i had a peculiar professor back in my sophomore year in uni. he was the one to introduce us to signal analysis and he chew on his "r"s and somehow his italian education made him refer to square waves as sikware waves. despite all that he taught me something that will probably forever ring true. he asked us a question: what is information? people started giving all sorts of answers, but his question came from a signal analysis perspective. if someone gave you a number of facts, which of those is actually information? he simply defined it as the amount of surprise one finds in those facts. his example, applicable to the current (and frankly, most of the recent) historical context, was this: if you're listening to the radio and you hear "10 palestinians were killed by israelis", it's business as usual, no news there. however, if you heard something like "jerusalem has been freed" or "arabs sent first man to space", then that's news.

why i say this is because of the recent news about israelis attacking the peace flotilla (aid ships coming to gaza). i felt angry, appalled, etc, etc, but the one thing i didn't feel was surprise. what israel has been doing in gaza is a starvation war, which is apparent, so there really is no news there. what seriously annoyed me however, is the storm of twitternoise generated on facebook. i mean, most people who were posting shit are old enough to know that (a) there is no news there and (b) twitternoise is just that: noise.

my favorite comments, in ascending order, are:

4. omg lets spread the word that israelis are murderers and israel is a facist state and they should burn in hell. closely related to those were religious messages around the same topic.
really? so 60 years of occupation and doing whatever the fuck it wants, you just figured that out? why must you perpetuate the same stale bullshit?

3. join this group, join that group, we are putting pressure on the uk embassy, blah blah or some other dimwit bullshit. what pressure? are you threatening them with yelling really loud if they don't comply? or maybe come out in a demonstration? yes that's it, you will hold signs until the uk foreign office takes action. more power to you in that. turkey is no small power, yet they're just showing anger and calling it murder. european countries asked the ambassadors in. to do what? nothing, israel will just do whatever the fuck it wants.

1. announce a general strike in the west bank. i am torn between putting this or the next as number one, so they both are, but for fuck's sake, who are you striking against? strikes are designed to protest government/company actions, not starve your own people. nothing, and i mean absolutely nothing, will come from a general strike in gaza. in fact, it'll just fuck up businesses and hurt whatever tattered economy is left. stop it.

1. blame obama.
this one just enrages me. this attachment to the us, this putting hope on a single person to help, regardless of who he or she is, is the most naive thing i've ever heard. i quote: "obama: fail" (btw fail has burnt out in 2008) and things like "i am angry at myself for being happy when obama was elected". where are those people living? do they think that any single person in the us will act a certain way because of his personal beliefs? have we not learned, over and over, that the us foreign policy has always focused on (a) the acquisition of natural resources (or access to them) (b) the protection of american financial interests and (c) very closely related to (a), the protection of israel. some people think that the us protects israel out of ideological principals. well here's some information, it's all about the money. israel has the us by the short hairs of its balls by controlling key aspects in the government and the economy. a single person, even the president, cannot take any actions against that.
so who can we blame? let's wake up and see things for what they are: the arab and muslim countries are incompetent and lazy, their leaders are corrupt and they're running around in circles screaming their heads off. it's not obama's fault.

the shunned monkey

i lack certain human skills that seem to come to most people naturally. for example:

1. talking: in general, people just can't shut their mouths. on the plane, while in a queue, in all sorts of places where silence is golden. leave me alone.
2. small talk: an anxiety-inducing activity where a group of strangers or acquaintances engage in casual, superficial conversation about topics they wouldn't otherwise approach. apparently talking is so compelling a drive that even bullshit is accepted.
3. subtlety and flattery: have you gained weight? where did you get this crappy pair of shoes? your session needs work. these are all examples of how i speak, but not what people want. see people want honesty but to a limit; they don't want to leave their fluffy, delusional existences and face reality
4. sarcasm (or more specifically, lack thereof). people don't like it. worse even, most don't even get it. closely related to it: people hate wise asses as well.

what i mean to say is this: had humans been a family of monkeys i would be shunned because i don't "fit". i'd be left ro fend for myself and cry in a corner somewhere.

memory to the sky

geeks will appreciate this. everyone else will just pity the guys. to be honest the whole thing is kind of tragic.

privacy on facebook

ok this started out as an experiment, but the more i think of it, the creepier it gets.

i was idly browsing my facebook wall when i noticed pictures of a wedding. i didn't recognize the bride or the album thumbnail, so i decided to browse the pictures. they were of a very cute couple getting married with hot friends (the maid of honor was sucking flowers and all). what struck me as odd was that i didn't know those people. a friend of mine commented on the pics, and since i'm a friend of a friend, i got to see the album. not only that, but i had the option of posting the album on my wall. so now my friends could see it. friends of friends of friends. i wonder if they can post it again.

so i did a little more experimenting. i sent an album invite to another email i have which isn't on facebook. didn't go through. i sent it to another dummy account i created on facebook to see what non-friends can see on my account, and it did go through. hell i wanted to post it here, but that doesn't work.

so bottom line: facebook owns you now.

rolling

idiot sightings! arrr!

http://www.chickenhammer.com/2010/04/idiot-sightings.html

some say...

Some say his watch goes up to 14, and that he thinks the credit crunch is a new type of breakfast cereal...

Some say he's a CIA experiment gone wrong, and that his blood smells of Root Beer...

Some say it's almost impossible for him to wear socks. And that he can open a bottle of beer with his testes...

Some say he thought Star Wars was a documentary and that he is convinced that the clouds are following him...

Some say he’s one of Michael Jackson’s kids and that he doesn't require an antenna to receive satellite television...

Some say he has a life size tattoo of his face, on his face. And that his droppings have been found as far north as York...

Some say he has never used reverse gear and that his teeth are made of carbon fibers...

Some say that his urine is 50 % peanut butter and that he runs faster then he drives...

Some say that he actually lost his virginity before his father did and that even if he takes off his helmet, you still can't see his face....

Some say he isn't wearing a helmet at all and that he makes a good desktop image...

While some say his first name really is ‘The', and that he has a surprising number of shoulders. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

i use my initials as my email signature

you know, because i'm too busy to type in my full name. who the fucks needs my full name anyway? everyone knows who i am by those two letters. technology is too fucking complicated to allow me to "add" a signature, like one that actually contains my name, to every email i send. and even if i knew how to do it, who the fuck has time to set that shit up anyway? thus, i only use two fucking letters to identify myself.

home made ice cream

ok someone needs to explain this to me: if i'm at a restaurant and the menu reads "home made", what the fuck does that mean? does someone make that shit at home and bring it with them? or does the chef simply live in the kitchen and thus whatever he cooks there is "home made"?

examples include: home made garlic aioli , home made bread, home made ice cream, home made potato chips, chicken nuggets.. hell cracker barrel specialize in home made cooking!

someone needs to explain to those places the difference between home and work.

to ipad or not to ipad

i wonder if anyone who got the ipad now will be using it 2 months from now, after the novelty wears off. i know, i'm wearing this down, but i just found this. this goes out to freddy.

basic grammar 102

*sigh*

i am tired of people disregarding grammar and spelling. the internet, the great enabler, breaker of walls and builder of bridges, greatly enabled idiots to post their ideas. i will reiterate a few pointers here for all those people who yet have to finish 5th grade.

there: the far form of here. it's spelled exactly like here, but with a t at the front. nifty.
they're: sounds like there, but is actually two words (the apostrophe is giveaway). it's short for they are.
their: denotes ownership, like mine, but for them - their.
example: throw them there; their minds are gone: they're idiots.

you're: like "they're" above, it's actually two words. it's short for you are.
your: like their, and mine, it denotes ownership, but for you.
ur: not english
example: keep your head in your ass; you're an idiot

definitely: for sure
defiantly: how king leonidas was in 300, from defiant
example: he definitely fought defiantly, though a little stupidly

below: beneath; under; in a lower level
bellow: scream in rage - also what kind leonidas was doing in 300 when he killed that emissary (this is SPARTAAAA)
no example here - i believe it's clear enough

the ipad - it blendsssss

i hate the ipad

please everyone with a soul. help me gang up on it. it's a fucking itouch with a big screen. no multi-tasking, no flash support and people are lining up to buy it. i wonder if jobs released a creative washing machine, would people line up to buy it? let's fight the madness!

check this entry at boing boing
also gizmodo hate it!
even jezebel are bashing the name.

curse apple fanboys! (and girls!)

the onion: rich guy feeling left out of recession

check out his recession-joining strategies. even his driver can't give him a break.

happy april's fools day

and google took full advantage of it. i couldn't stop laughing.

how technology can cause stomach ulcers

i am trying to get some of my contacts from outlook to my nokia phone. the easiest way? save the contacts i want to vcf then import them from the nokia software.

you with me? i will introduce you to my thoughts now. to get the better image, imagine me mumbling the words...

ok, go to outlook, choose a contact, choose "save as...", choose vcard, go to nokia, import vcard, viola! it works.

ok great, now, choose all the contacts i need to export, choose "save as...". hmm, no vcf format, only txt. that's weird. ok try right-click, nothing. ok maybe i'm stupid, trying help. hmmm. steps are clear in outlook 2007 (i'm still in 2003). ok hit the help for 2003. i need an add on, click the link. it takes me to the marketplace (marketplace? will this cost me?)

yes sir indeed! 25 fucking dollars so i can export more than one contact in vcf! that's the solution microsoft recommends! fucking hell!

see? ulcer. ulcer i tell you!

tv censorship - not seeing the forest for the trees

the show: criminal minds

the episode: a copy-cat serial killer mutilates his victims a-la jack the ripper

the conclusion: twister! female rape victim gone apeshit on men

the scenes that were shown: shots of bodies drowning in blood, some with their throats slashed, others with their kidneys stolen, some with their guts spilled. general discussion about the history of violence, and related cases country-wide.

the scenes that were cut: a couple who were kissing in an alley when they stumbled upon the latest corpse.

that was where i thought what the fuck. i struggled to understand the fucked up criteria to cut scenes. i mean is it generally more offending to see a couple kissing than a story revolving around 10 murdered people? does the reasoning go like "son, all that violence and blood is make-believe, but... WAIT! A MAN AND A WOMAN KISSING! COVER YOUR EYES! COVER YOUR EARS! YOU MUST'VE BEEN IRREVOCABLY SCARRED! oh ok now it's gone. so yeah, that is probably what intestines look like outside the body. let's just watch lethal weapon 4, die hard 3 and true lies over the weekend" these censorship fucktards need to get off their horses and open their minds. idiots.

a solar eclipse in the 21st century

one would think that a phenomenon like that is thoroughly understood, and it really is just simple geometry (the moon happens to pass between earth and the sun). but by all that i hold dear idiocy knows no bounds! some dimwit in the gym was watching tv broadcasting seriously tragic pictures of the suffering in haiti. 200,000 dead. so what does he say? it's days between it and the solar eclipse.

what

the

fuck

fucking thousands of years of technology gone down the drain. this is just so infuriating! then he starts to quote how the muslim prophet was afraid when he saw the eclipse so he started praying a 5 hour continuous prayer (apparently he was having coffee with him that afternoon or something), so yeah, since the moon passed between us and the sun disaster will strike. no seriously what the fuck! what the fucking fuck! ok i give up.

empty jobs

i was watching tv the other night and a showtime ad caught my eye. it was about a "sports studio" that analyzed a soccer (football?) game. the studio had five (apparently) sane adults, in fancy suits, discussing how the game proceeded, how the coaches reacted to game changes and other senseless interactions.

imagine, if you will, what someone who's never heard of sports before, will think about a soccer game. 22 adults running after an air-filled leather pouch? now imagine further, if possible, that same person heard of a group of other adults dedicated their lives to watching the games to provide expert advice. what would he think? wtf. seriously, wtf? i mean do these men (yes, predominantly men) have no self-respect?

of course, although these are unfortunate souls, they can probably find comradeship in the following:

1. political and financial analysts: they similarly don fancy suits, sit in studios and are quite opinionated. but in contrast to the sport analysts' discussion of useless facts, they discuss don't facts at all. they speculate, they're belligerent, they argue with passion and logic, but are usually just farting in the wind. political analysts are almost always full of it, but every once in a while a financial analyst will get lucky and become jesus for a while. then when he falls, the anti-christ.
2. historians: those don't like to don suits but discuss shit that's already happened. they marvel at how fabulous people who died 10,000 years ago were. they breathlessly discuss how prehistoric civilizations monitored the stars and preserved people because they thought they'd eventually wake up. historians discuss the strategies used in wars long forgotten, except by them. i mean political analysts are full of it but they usually discuss people who are alive.
3. astrologists: they predict people's fortunes based on where a tiny spec of a planet orbiting a below-average star - one of billions - orbiting the center of the galaxy - which is also one of billions - happens to be on a particular month. the fascinating fact is that there are people who listen to them.

update: i'm a fucking genius. check out these bs jobs. also, the onion agrees with me.

kuwaitis and iraqis unite

ten years after iraq invaded kuwait for a month or so, the countries have finally reached an agreement about a certain topic: it is a completely vile idea to call a street after the deceased leader saddam. they were both outraged!