idiot sightings! arrr!

http://www.chickenhammer.com/2010/04/idiot-sightings.html

some say...

Some say his watch goes up to 14, and that he thinks the credit crunch is a new type of breakfast cereal...

Some say he's a CIA experiment gone wrong, and that his blood smells of Root Beer...

Some say it's almost impossible for him to wear socks. And that he can open a bottle of beer with his testes...

Some say he thought Star Wars was a documentary and that he is convinced that the clouds are following him...

Some say he’s one of Michael Jackson’s kids and that he doesn't require an antenna to receive satellite television...

Some say he has a life size tattoo of his face, on his face. And that his droppings have been found as far north as York...

Some say he has never used reverse gear and that his teeth are made of carbon fibers...

Some say that his urine is 50 % peanut butter and that he runs faster then he drives...

Some say that he actually lost his virginity before his father did and that even if he takes off his helmet, you still can't see his face....

Some say he isn't wearing a helmet at all and that he makes a good desktop image...

While some say his first name really is ‘The', and that he has a surprising number of shoulders. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

i use my initials as my email signature

you know, because i'm too busy to type in my full name. who the fucks needs my full name anyway? everyone knows who i am by those two letters. technology is too fucking complicated to allow me to "add" a signature, like one that actually contains my name, to every email i send. and even if i knew how to do it, who the fuck has time to set that shit up anyway? thus, i only use two fucking letters to identify myself.

home made ice cream

ok someone needs to explain this to me: if i'm at a restaurant and the menu reads "home made", what the fuck does that mean? does someone make that shit at home and bring it with them? or does the chef simply live in the kitchen and thus whatever he cooks there is "home made"?

examples include: home made garlic aioli , home made bread, home made ice cream, home made potato chips, chicken nuggets.. hell cracker barrel specialize in home made cooking!

someone needs to explain to those places the difference between home and work.

to ipad or not to ipad

i wonder if anyone who got the ipad now will be using it 2 months from now, after the novelty wears off. i know, i'm wearing this down, but i just found this. this goes out to freddy.

basic grammar 102

*sigh*

i am tired of people disregarding grammar and spelling. the internet, the great enabler, breaker of walls and builder of bridges, greatly enabled idiots to post their ideas. i will reiterate a few pointers here for all those people who yet have to finish 5th grade.

there: the far form of here. it's spelled exactly like here, but with a t at the front. nifty.
they're: sounds like there, but is actually two words (the apostrophe is giveaway). it's short for they are.
their: denotes ownership, like mine, but for them - their.
example: throw them there; their minds are gone: they're idiots.

you're: like "they're" above, it's actually two words. it's short for you are.
your: like their, and mine, it denotes ownership, but for you.
ur: not english
example: keep your head in your ass; you're an idiot

definitely: for sure
defiantly: how king leonidas was in 300, from defiant
example: he definitely fought defiantly, though a little stupidly

below: beneath; under; in a lower level
bellow: scream in rage - also what kind leonidas was doing in 300 when he killed that emissary (this is SPARTAAAA)
no example here - i believe it's clear enough

the ipad - it blendsssss

i hate the ipad

please everyone with a soul. help me gang up on it. it's a fucking itouch with a big screen. no multi-tasking, no flash support and people are lining up to buy it. i wonder if jobs released a creative washing machine, would people line up to buy it? let's fight the madness!

check this entry at boing boing
also gizmodo hate it!
even jezebel are bashing the name.

curse apple fanboys! (and girls!)

the onion: rich guy feeling left out of recession

check out his recession-joining strategies. even his driver can't give him a break.

happy april's fools day

and google took full advantage of it. i couldn't stop laughing.