americans and denny's

Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's

weight gain in a day

why do all hotel rooms have scales, yet they don't have, say, an iron ? what are the odds that i would want to weight myself after staying in a hotel for one or two days? who is that health conscious?

word of the day

spherical idiots: those who appear to be idiots every way you look at them

shaving using seventeen blades doesn't make you irresistable

neither does using a new deodorant, or using an anti-dandruff shampoo, or buying a new shirt. those girls you see on tv are paid to (a) stay thin and (b) pretend to be attracted to clean-shaven guys. incidentally, it doesn't make you more handsome or make your six-pack more prominent (or at all visible).

over 23

a restaurant was proudly displaying that they have over 23 branches around the country. what does that mean? do they have 24 branches? or 26? i mean how hard is it to actually count the branches, since there's over 23 of them! if they had, say, 11,000 branches, it might be irrelevant to say they have 11,467 branches, so over 11,000 might be called for. but over 23? jeese!

ps: this also applies to about 24 locations. about? so is it actually 23? or 25?

silly gmail

whenever i check my spam folder, it helpfully displays links to food recipes that use spam: spam omelet, spam burrito, etc.

h1n1 update

interesting phenomenon: going into thailand the immigration employees were nice and polite (as everyone else in the country). on the way out they were also nice and polite, but they wore those surgical masks. on the way out. is that supposed to tell us anything?

basic grammar

most english words can be changed from singular to plural by adding an s. for example:
house : houses
idiot : idiots

however, to the latter group, not all words can be pluralized, such as:
equipment : equipment

more importantly, to the latter group, not all words ending in an s (or s sound) are plural. for example:
license is a license, not the plural of licen
sacrifice is not many, nor is it the plural of sacrifi

please stop asking me to deliver a licen. it's a license. and i won't give a sacrifi.

greatest invention

some argue it's fire (and would argue that fire is a discovery). some argue it's the wheel. the pen, the printing press, the internet - there is a long list of possible candidates. but clearly this list has been compiled by healthy people. one with a cold and a stuffy nose will tell you that this is the greatest invention:


nasal spray clears clogged up noses. with it you can breathe, speak, think, and sleep peacefully. never mind the pen - i'll take the spray over it any time.

pity friend

"behold the pity friend! yes, that one over there, the fat one. no, she doesn't do herself any favors. and yes, those pants aren't helping. watch how these hips sway, how the jeans are busting at the seams - she doesn't get the "skinny" in skinny jeans. the group of skinny "friends" around her? well, my dear friend, this is where pity friend gets her name from! see that one over there, yes one of the skinny ones, she's the whale's best friend! yes! been friends since they were toddlers (but you can guess who always stole all the cookies, no?). yeah, that group is the skinny one's clique, the hippo is tagging along, feeling out of place and fatter by the minute. what she does? she goes home and finds comfort in a tub of ice cream, a one kilo bar of chocolate or a bucket of fried chicken."