Thursday, July 23, 2009

how did that idiot get up there?

i find myself asking that question more often these days. you would meet someone in a respectable position in a company, and the first thing you think of is this: how the fuck did you end up here? obviously, you have no brain. it is quite apparent that your iq rivals that of a dyslexic pigeon. yet, despite all challenge you have climbed the corporate ladder.

i find there are three prerequisites for said idiots:

1. higher education at a good school: yes, nothing says smart like a good degree
2. charm: how to make nonsense sound a little less ridiculous by looking good
3. no sense of self-worth: only approval form other people is what really matters

they follow a simple schema:

1. keep moving: if you stay in one place long enough, someone will notice that the stapler has more common sense than you
2. keep moving again - move up by moving sideways: face it: since the database backup server contributes more to the company than you, the only way to move up it is to move companies. never stay in one place more than 2 to 3 years
3. learn and like what an ass tastes like (i mean that in the bootlick sense, not the literal sense)

the result is what you see in everyday life: idiots in high positions.

more american idiots

yes, it's that time of again. americans make it easy for me to pick on them, really.

cnn has a weird feature where people send in answers to a provocative question (not sure if it's text or twitter or some other "in" shit). so cnn asked the question "are you willing to sacrifice some of your rights to help the effort against terrorism?" and i caught two of the responses. needless to say, these were americans at their best:

"if necessary, but constitutional rights are inalienable!" way to go learning a big word like inalienable. so dimwit, what rights are you willing to sacrifice? ones scribbled by 3 year-olds? your rights are constitutional by definition.

"of course, because if we don't the terrorists will win." who are those mysterious people known as the terrorists? win what exactly? does the average american really believe that there is a species out there out to get them? news flash: there are no "terrorists", they don't want to "win" anything. the only ones in a war are your representatives in government, waging a fight against a vague image of an imaginary enemy. another news flash: you'll never win because there's nothing to win.

Monday, July 20, 2009


set as desktop background. that's how you change the wallpaper on your windows desktop. no one has any excuse to retain the piss-ugly green field xp desktop. in fact, there are some tools that will randomly set wallpaper from your pictures folder.

note: do NOT set a picture of your kids on your desktop. no one gives a fuck.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

what you'll never see on tv

csi: after the corpse is fished out of the river, the chemicals found in its hair are not unique. in fact, just common salt and pollution found all over town. case closed.

sci fi series: the flagship just patrols the space. a strange artifact in encountered and turns out it's just a rock. alarms aren't sounded.

sci-fi alternative: the flagship runs into a superior alien ship, to be destroyed in a cloud of shrapnel and vapor.

medical drama: as the patient is rushed into the emergency room, the doctors converge on her, yelling medical statistics and diagnosis. 3 minutes later, she passes away.

young rich people show (90210, one tree hill, the oc): the guy falls in love with the girl and marries her without complications.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

blog entry title

yes, this entry's title is redundant. other examples:

cnn: some african leader wants to ban illegal demonstrations. doesn't illegal mean banned?
almost all marketing idiots: buy an extra large and get a gift, absolutely free! if the gift weren't free, wouldn't it stop being a gift? (talked about this one before, but it just keeps coming back)
cnn (again): that area is heading for some wet rainy weather. thank god it's not dry rainy weather.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

imagine something with me

imagine something with me.

imagine an alien spaceship orbiting earth observing our habits. i ask you this: what would they make of celebrities? i was wondering that looking at a noisy singer with lots of female fans waving posters of him in the audience. most would kill to spend a night with him. what struck me as odd was that he's not handsome, they don't know if he's charming or nice or an asshole. all they know about him is that he sells lots of songs. add to that phenomena like paris hilton, perez hilton and other airheads who are famous for being famous and you'll get what i mean.

imagine something else if you will.

imagine humans twenty thousand years from now stumbling upon a massive, ancient structure that can seat 50,000 humans, all facing a great big rectangular area. analysis of the area reveals that grass was grown there. at each end the remains of poles were found there. what purpose did such a structure serve? was it some sort of temple? could they imagine millions of people intensely watching 22 grown men run after an inflated leather bundle?

Sunday, July 05, 2009

hi5 suggestions

i am somehow signed up for a service called hi5. i think it was a pre-facebook sort of thing. anyway i've never used it, but it keeps on sending me useful friend suggestions. see the screen shot below. one may notice the bunch of children on the left.

however, i would like to draw your attention to H. yup, the gentleman wielding the large machine gun, in the foreground of what can only be somalia. how hi5 thought i would be interested in a "freedom fighter" is beyond me. see sometimes technology just breaks.