Monday, September 20, 2010

apple fanboys - behold your messiah

it is no secret i hate that black turtleneck-wearing motherfucker. jobs can choke on one of his glorified iphones for all i care. he's an uptight conceited sob who has a following that defies all logic. his latest piss-match is here. fucker.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

so idiots insist on holding onto their idiocy

although this comes as no surprise to me, an independent scientific study came to the conclusion that people will believe scientists only if they confirm what the idiots already "know". otherwise, they'll consider the scientist a moron. of course this explains a lot of the idiocy in the world (think the anti-vaccine movement, the no-global-warming movement, etc).

Monday, September 13, 2010

the mirror of self-deception

as you might've noticed from previous posts, i'm a regular at the gym. in one of the locker rooms, the locker i usually use is right in front of a full-length mirror. the other day i was changing, noticed myself in the mirror and thought "whatever it is you've been doing in the gym, it's working". man i looked great in that mirror. with an ego boost and skip in my step, i headed to the showers. i was passing other mirrors on the way there and stopped. hmmm. this reflection is more like the ones i'm used to. i tried other mirrors and sure enough, i looked the same. it's that one mirror that made me look good.

i went back to it and the grim truth hit me: the mirror is slightly concave. it "slims" one. i dubbed it the mirror of self-deception. it's my new best friend.

Thursday, September 02, 2010

have some respect, dammit!

now what i want here is for someone to explain how i can drink respectfully. do i stand up before drinking? bow to the bottle first? or do i walk up to everyone not drinking and apologize?

you're in the fucking gym. people drink water because they're working out. get over it.