Wednesday, February 23, 2011

how to overthrow a leader

(serious note: the below is a humorous entry that does not in any way attempt to make light of the events or deaths in the region. i salute every single tunisian, egyptian, libyan, bahraini and yemeni who stood strong for their countries, and i am humbled by those who have given their lives. i wrote it because if you take the leaders' speeches before they leave, they can be copied verbatim one to the other)
1. look for a country ripe for the picking, preferably with a dictator in power for more than a decade
2. start a facebook page decrying the abuse and inequality
3. wait for 10 to 15 thousand members then announce a demonstration
4. demonstrate. make sure you tell everyone on twitter, facebook and aljazeera before you start. the internet is susceptible to insane leaders.
5. surprisingly, the government will either ignore you or try to pacify you. when that happens, find a prominent location (historically speaking, a large roundabout seems to work better than average, but that's just a fluke - a large park or open area might work as well, though squares should be strictly avoided), setup tents and basic services and pray very hard that your leader isn't insane.
6. wait for the leader to claim that you and your posse are foreigners, or drunkards, or separatists. that will increase your posse!
7. wait till the leader claims he will not leave ever and that he will eradicate you.
8. chant "leave! leave! leave!"
9. leader overthrown
1. may (will most probably) cause deaths. proceed with caution
2. the economy will suffer, but that's a short-term issue and it will recover
3. it is preferable to have an organized opposition to avoid a leadership void
4. camping may be prolonged - plan routes for provisions and medical aid

Monday, February 21, 2011

religion: pick what you like, blindly disregard the rest

so british gay couples want to get a religious wedding. a muslim one at that.

what. the. fuck.

i mean help me out here guys. i'm all for gay love - in fact i root for people to marry whoever the fuck they want. but hypocrisy just drives me up the wall. aren't same-sex relationships banned in islam? i mean, an american imam "reasons that to deny gay Muslim couples the right to a religious union, goes against teachings in the Koran". really? doesn't being homosexual go against the teaching of that same book you quote?

this religious slectivity of what we think is or isn't blessed by allah or god or yahweh or zeus makes me livid. you're either religious and follow a book, and you're not and you go what you heart and mind tell you. if you choose what part of religion you want to follow that doesn't make you religious, it just makes you a hypocrite.

Monday, February 14, 2011

customer doesn't like your service? no problem; sue them. way to go #BenihanaKUW

i am posting this to teach the idiot managing benihana kuwait that with the help of the internet, two dictators were overthrown so far; surely a lowly manager of a restaurant isn't beyond its reach? tsk tsk.

a blogger ate there and blogged his review of the restaurant. it wasn't particularly critical, but for a brand name like benihana, his experience was underwhelming to say the least.

after a few rather bizarre comments to the contrary (all ending in LOLs - seriously, are the people working there 13?), the manager decided to reveal himself and sue the blogger. fucking genius.

now as far as i know, benihana (the japanese brand name owner) hasn't done anything, apparently they don't have power to interfere with legal moves made by their franchisees. but boy oh boy is that idiot getting fired.

why am i posting this? i want justice to be served by those who were offended; free-thinking bloggers. spread the word. #BenihanaKUW