Thursday, November 23, 2006

pics worth thousands of words

i'm not sure if these qualify as such, but you can have a good laugh. sorry about the delays in posting, been traveling and just settled (sorta) in one country.

in the picture below, taken right before i bought my ticket, you can see the creativity in choosing names and partners. i mean, really?


exhibit b shows us, other than the funny german english (i laugh at normal sentences there because they're structured in such a weird way) the difference between the care taken of european and arab citizens. if someone ever remembers the sopping of water for health reasons, please let me know.

last but not least, a silly typo from emirates. funny, had to share it. goods dinks. he he he.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

arabs in america

what happens to arabs when they hit the land of the free and home of the brave? i have been through the weirdest experience: in the airplane next to me sat a family who has obviously lived a while in the states. the kids speak perfect american and the mother hold this snobby know-it-all better-than-everyone-else attitude that only sorry arabs that have lived in the states can muster:

"you know, this crap they serve for food is so much worse than the gourmet meals they served in the states". superficial bitch. and the blankets were horrible, the service appalling, the ride too shaky, and her feet killed her.

anyway, that's not the weird part. the weird part was that all of the sudden she turns to her kids (3 girls, aged from 6 to 16, i'd guess, and a 10 year-old boy) and asks them all to start reading Quran. they all whip out their ajza2 and start reading Quran, and discussing it! and neither the kids nor their mother were veiled, they weren't even dressed conservatively. it was just too contradicted.

what is this? post your comments. weird.

Monday, November 13, 2006


believe it or not, the title of this blog is an acronym: it stands for queen alia international airport. i think the poor late queen is rolling in her grave being appalled at having something so shameful being named after her.

i have never been in an airport more depressing. shabbier, definitely, but none more depressing. and it's not the shabbiness. true, the sight of broken light fixtures, dirty floors, random wires across the ceilings are more than enough to create a serious down, but they are not enough to depress one.

i was pondering this thought while going up the squeaky escalator after the passport check (otherwise known as immigration control). it was a bit scary, with the ascent being a series of grunts, squeaks and surges. it felt like a smoker trying to jog. see when i look at a sign hanging from only one the cables that are supposed to hold it in place, forcing one to tilt one's head to read it, or notice the cleaning equipment that is stored in dark corners of unused areas rather than storage rooms, or even hear the very squeaks that may at any second lead to the failure of the escalator on which i was going up, I do not see signs of backwardness. what i see are signs of lack of money. now whether this lack is not enough funding or misappropriation of funds is not my issue of debate, but all these problems can be solved by spending money. what depressed me is the lack of response i got from humans.

after queuing at the check-in counter, i greeted the man behind the counter with a good morning. guess what he responded with.


not even a nod. he took my stuff, checked the visa and handed me my boarding pass after asking me a couple questions. hmmm, i thought to myself, he must've not heard me. very well. i moved on to passport control. again, i greeted the gentleman behind the counter with a good morning. he didn't even grunt. he stamped all the papers and handed them to me without the exchange of a single word. damn. i went up, felt hungry, so went and got me some cinnabon. again, i greeted the guy with a good morning, and got no response. now in all honesty i'm pretty sure he didn't hear me because he was busy preparing a new batch. i greeted him again when he was done, and lo and behold!, i got a response. he actually looked in my direction. i ordered, paid, and left. after the incident i started to wonder if i'd lost my voice and it was audible only in my imagination. i performed a test. i walked up and down the passageways holding a rather annoying tone as long as my breath would hold it, and surely enough, people were looking at me weirdly. seems my voice was working.

i simply had to place these observations in the blog. of course i didn't use the 8 dinar/hour wireless internet connection (thank God for gprs).

i think qaia is depressing because everyone there leaves you with the impression that you are about to enter a country stricken by 7 years of famine after 7 years of floods that were preceded by 7 years or drought. not everything, but everyone. now that is something you can't solve by spending money.

Monday, November 06, 2006

proof of my theories

you thought i was kidding here? well check out the following (from Alghad newspaper, Sunday Nov 5th issue, click for full-size).

Thursday, November 02, 2006

new serious post

go here. it's long, sorry. check the ones below as well.

the mystery of amman municipality

every november in amman's municipality...

"sir, i have some very urgent news!"

"what is it?"

"sir, the strangest thing is happening outside! this is in addition to the mysterious drop in temperatures that started around a month ago."

"damn! what is it now?!"

"me and the guys were digging another street, you know, the one we dug up last week, then closed, then dug up again because it wasn't closed right, then closed it, anyway, we were working on it when suddenly some of the guys started feeling droplets of water on their necks. they looked around, thinking it was another water pipe they'd broken by mistake, but there weren't any around. they started complaining that it was getting worse, and i started feeling them too. i looked around for the source, but it was everywhere! the droplets were falling from the sky! covering everything! it's happening as we speak!"


"i swear to you! out of nowhere these droplets started bombarding us! they were everywhere! it got so bad that we had to pack up and leave, leaving the street we were digging up half-buried. you know, we can't work under such horrid conditions! the drivers will have to swerve and try to avoid the hole, even if it filled with water and looked like the rest of the street."

"all right man. keep me posted."

two weeks later.

"sir, i have more disturbing news!"

"what is it?"

"sir, this onslaught of water falling from the sky was totally unexpected! i've never seen anything like it! it has flooded the streets and clogged up our drainage systems. if only we could've anticipated such sudden events!"

"what are you saying? what's the scale of the damage?!"

"since we weren't prepared for this, many of the streets we dug and closed have now collapsed because the sub-standard base we placed under the ill-sealed asphalt has washed away with the water! in addition, this downpour of water tends to form streams in the streets and carry sand and debris with it. since people use the roads and pavements as sand storage areas in construction sites, much of this sand has run and settled at the lower points of streets, forming small hills and valleys that rival those holes created by our worse street patching!"

"my God! was there no way to have avoided this?"

"of course not sir, it totally hit us by surprise! there was nothing we could've done. the best we can do now is to re-dig the streets, try to form new drains, and hope to God that this won't happen again..."


"the only thing that can happen worse than this is if, and God forbid, this is to freeze on its way down."

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

no life?

i hate those people who call the radio. i mean, how little life must they have such that calling the radio is a fun and exciting thing to do?

"hi, i wanna dedicate this song to hana, lana, jeina, leen, marwa, jalal, ali, jamal, mousa, abbas, omar, amer, lina, zeina shatara, zeina omari, jack, mo, sameer, ali ahmad, ali nayem, a big shout out goes to lama, rania, rand, dina and big mo. and for the class of mutran school. woooooowwww, go shilleh! i also send this song out to the orthodox club people jane, issa, awwad, mark, i miss you man!, suha, fun randa, slow randa, dima, dana, oh shireen, where you at girl? call me! and the rest of the crew. you rock guys! of course the gym girls are in this as well, jana, nai, lecusha, i know you're in the states but i miss you!, layla, sameera, marwa h, sandra and cindy, i miss you all! woooooowwww, this is dima, i miss you all! also all the listeners and dj's! wooow! go! go go!"

it's almost as bad as those who write blogs informing us of the exciting events in their lives:

"i went to the store today. was torn between buying spearmint and peppermint gum, then decided to go crazy and get both. when i got home, i watched the tv for two hours. it was a m.a.s.h. marathon."

can you feel the rush? i can hear my heart beating in my ears.

birth of an omplette©

this morning i prepared a nice big breakfast (i woke up early and had time to kill). the meal was a mushroom omelette, covered with cream cheese. i invented that. i shared the invention with a friend (including the typo) and decided to christen it as the omplette©. so next time you prepare an omelette with cream cheese (or any soft cheese on top), know that you're preparing an omplette©.