Thursday, October 25, 2007


would anyone listen to elissa's songs if she didn't have big boobs that she likes to show off?

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

don't shake your head

caution: racist entry

ever seen an indian pressing the buttons on an elevator? for some reason they always press both the up and down buttons. when they get in, right after they press on their desired floor button, they frantically start pressing the "close" button. and when the elevator almost reaches the desired floor (with almost i mean still in motion but slowing down) they start fratically pressing the "open" button. the question that presents itself: did they never notice that no matter when (or how often) they press a button, the outcome is the same?

they also tend not to step a single inch outside what their work is. examples (to name a few): i went to have iftar with a friend the other day, we ordered a soup and two main courses. they delivered two bowls of soup, to which i reacted "we only ordered one" the guy was "sir this is complementary". nice service, until after we finished the soup they served me my soup. again. i mean, wtf? the other night i was at a bar, and i ordered a virgin mojito "sorry sir, we don't serve that" but i was "why?" he was "only normal mojito" so i was "ok, just prepare a normal mojito and throw the rum out" he was "sorry sir, you need to speak to the manager". again i say, wtf?

how oh how did they get an atomic program together? i mean, you know how they do a cross between the head shake/nod when asked a question. "did you deliver this?" nod/shake "is that a yes or a no?" nod/shake. "ganesh, is that safety device on the thermonuclear warhead secured?" nod/shake

Monday, October 08, 2007

pretty people rule the world

despite that your mom and dad told you, being pretty makes life easy. and i don't mean in the way a hot girl would get the empty seat on the bus or would smile her way out of a ticket, but in the way the hotter girl will get the better job. i don't think employers do it consciously (choose the prettier candidates) or are even aware that the looks affected their perception of the person, but they do. but it's not a bad thing, because pretty people tend to get the deal. ever seen a tall, well-built guy give a mediocre presentation? imagine a short, chubby, ugly or smelly guy giving it. see the difference? maybe not, but it's there. a handsome face tends to be more convincing, pretty eyes make mistakes more easily forgiven, bullshit makes a little more sense coming out of a full pair of lips.

pretty people get the promotion, they are presented to customers, they do it.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

life in short

short people have it easy in life. when taken to scale, everything they do is blown out of proportion and they seem to be doing more. ever seen a short guy running on a treadmill? they seem to be making a great effort, huffing and puffing and moving in fast-motion, but a quick glance at the speed and you'll see that they're doing average. short guys giving speeches/presentations? if there's no one around, when they move their hands around, or stand on their tip toes when excited, they look really motivated. even the screen behind them looks bigger. the list goes on, but it's clear. when you're small, small achievements looks grand in comparison, so go ahead little people, run!

Thursday, October 04, 2007

how to create a great play

the characters: white prince (whose father dies at the beginning but somehow doesn't become king himself), the princess (the white prince's promised wife? shouldn't she be a queen too?), the evil counselor, the dark prince, the good goddess

the places: the inherited kingdom, the palace, the evil labyrinth of caves, the perilous road, the fishermen's village

the great magical inheritance (i kid you not): the painstakingly ornamented astrolabe, the flourishingly sheathed khanjar (dagger) and the exquisitely flawless magic pearl

the plot: if you can't figure out the plot thus far, maybe you should go see the play