Thursday, December 28, 2006

how is things?

ok the people who are meant to read this probably won't, but seriously, after living in the states, working with english every single day and reading hundred of reports and documents, does not one learn subject-verb agreement? i understand blunders mid-sentences or where scenarios are complex, but when the first thing out of a mouth is "how is things?" you need to wonder. it's like the friggin standard greeting in avaya. how is things?

of course there are other really annoying things. for example, articles (those are "a", "an" and "the"). unlike arabic, english requires articles before non-proper nouns. so, you say "i saw a car" not "i saw car" or "did you get newspaper?". there's also the 's which is always left behind when referring objects to others (like "jack's pc" not "jack pc"; jack is not an adjective). of course there is the fact that english sentences need verbs, but when they think in terms of mubtada2 wa khabar, it's bye bye verb. "you know the weather crazy outside?" (yes, i believe i've met her). or, my personal favorite, which mixes and combines mistakes, "nihal office empty" (translation: nihal's office is empty).

so how is things? good?

habby eid

habby eid boys and girls! i know it's still a couple days away but i won't have internet so have it now. he3.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

abdoun bridge

it was only a matter of time before i got in an entry about this. it just goes to show you that money doesn't fix nations.

note: this story is inspired by a friend, since i personally have not seen the bridge functioning yet.

now abdoun bridge is a truly impressive construction. it spans two hills in amman and is supported on large y-shaped blocks of concrete and has tension designs as well. brilliant looking, if you ask me. the bridge was constructed as part of amman's plans to create a ring road, and it really did solve traffic issues. of course, the designers didn't know the extent of our dear jordanian brothers' creativity.

as people driving from abdoun to the fourth circle will attest to, when the bridge first opened traffic flow was smooth. you can get from abdoun to all the circles in a matter of jam-free minutes. impressive. however, a couple weeks after the opening, you would notice a weird traffic jam there. of course, people were surprised. but as you drive by the cause of the jam (and you would naturally think it's a traffic accident), you will see buses, pickup trucks and old bmw's parked on the right side. a few meters further and you will see people having picnics on the bridge. they literally jump over the protective fence and simply sit there. those idiots think the bridge is there for the view.

burn 'em, i say, the whole lot. i've never seen anything more backward.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

20 top female athletes

click here for the top 20 female athletes.

thank you.

with the exception of number 17 (whom i find a bit scary) these are all very fine women. the baffling part is that they're all successful, top players who achieve a lot, and look really hot doing it.

for example, if you check out the golfer and tennis player, you'll see that having sexy bodies because of all the sports they play is not enough, but indeed, they have to wear the clothes to expose that. but, look at the top two (i won't ruin it by saying who) and you'll see that sometimes exposing the body is the whole point. i mean, who plays tennis dressed like number 1?

my dear readers, sex sells, let's just leave it at that.

p.s. for the ladies out there, there is a top-20 male list as well.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

i would like to post an idea here but i hope all you readers out there won't steal it and make it your own, i actually have the crazy notion of making money off of it.

i, as any typical arab guy will attest to, have a huge problem of meeting girls randomly (in restaurants, bars, clubs, etc). see in our region the percentage of assholes is higher than most, so when it comes to meeting girls the advances are usually shunned. i understand this attitude, since even the nicest of people on the outside many a time turn out to be assholes. trust me, i know. the problem, however, is that these assholes ruin it for the rest of us. so it's been in my head for a while that there can a solution for this: a rate my date (, please don't steal it) website.

this website will allow you to post your personal info (name, dob, job, money, etc), alone with a short profile (interests, hobbies, pastimes, etc). after that, your page will be open to rating by the people you know (friends, enemies, ex-girlfriends and boyfriends, or both, if you're so inclined). i think the ratings from ex's should be interesting (things like duration of relationship, reason for breakup, asshole meter, voodoo doll option (costs extra) and the sort) since it really highlights the person in the relationship area. i know, i know, ex's are usually disgruntled, angry people, but that doesn't mean they can't be objective. Besides, an ex must have his/her own page where YOU can rate him/her before they can rate you, so they should be honest. can i hear you say catch 22? i really like this idea. if you do, drop me a comment and i'll share some of the revenue with you.

oh, one last, totally unrelated comment: do NOT have falafel, shawerma, lots of pickles, nuts, seeds then fiteer mishaltit with cream and honey for dinner, it will make you sick the next morning.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

paki paki

so i went to pakistan. the country is dirty and shabby and they drive like there's no tomorrow. it was confusing enough to have them drive on the left side (like the uk) but it's really absolute chaos. i mean first there are around 5 motorcycles for every car in the street, and i'm not talking about sleek ninjas or classy harleys, i'm talking old 2 wheeled vehicles that usually carry two people with no safety equipment. now these snake between the cars and make driving there a nightmare. it's unbelievable.

i can go for a very long time on the signs of a weird country, but i would like to include this picture below to summarize my feelings.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

intermittent connection

at last! something to bitch about in dubai!

if you think that internet is bad in amman, come try working from our office these past couple days. we've had horrible internet, and worse, our emails are bouncing. just to understand the scale of things, i'm the only one left in the office (don't have internet at home, so intermittent internet is better than no internet). our work is almost entirely dependent on email and internet connectivity. everything we do is virtual. some people i haven't seen in a week yet we've submitted joint projects. right now we're bitching about it but nothing is being done.

and in all honesty this entry isn't near as heated as i would've liked it to be. i'm losing the anger.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006


i couldn't resist sharing this joke.

that angry hater will love it.



A guy sitting at a bar at Heathrow Terminal 3 noticed a really beautiful woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself: "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be a flight attendant. But which airline does she work for?"

Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and said the Delta Airline slogan: "Love to fly and it shows?"

She gave him a confused look and he immediately thought to himself: "Damn, she doesn't work for Delta Airlines."

A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards her again, "Something special in the air?"

She gave him the same confused look. He then removed Singapore Airlines off the list.

Next he tried the Thai Airways slogan: "Smooth as Silk?"

This time the woman turned to him "What the FUCK do you want?" The man smiled, then lay back in his chair, and said

"Ahhhhh, Royal Jordanian!"


traffic sucks in dubai.

somehow, within the splendor of the city's design and planning, those on top didn't realize that if you put 100 towers on a strip of road and no alternative roads, it will clog up. i am fortunate enough to have my ride home never exceed 30 minutes, but those poor people who live further away sometimes spend a couple hours in a car.

near-sighted urban planners.

this is an atypically light complaint on my side. i haven't spent enough time here to discover the things that will really get me started at bitching.

Friday, December 01, 2006

ultimate irony

you know i am the biggest supporters of tourism in our dear country. i think that it's one of the few sources of foreign currency in jordan (which allows us to buy all the bmw's and mercedes we like to drive).

however, sometimes the efforts are just misguided. take, for example, the picture to the right. this welcomes passengers coming to jordan who come seeking medical treatment. they call it medical treatment tourism. tourism? it's like rubbing it in their faces: not only can your country not provide adequate medical services, we call what you're doing tourism because you spend money in jordan. we welcome you in jordan.

dear department of treatment tourism: stop calling it tourism: it's sick people coming for treatment. call it visits. call it consultation, cooperation, help, anything that isn't condescending.

blog comments

dear reader(s),

i'm really excited today! last night a friend told me that someone left me comments regarding my airport entry a while back. i'm excited because i write these blogs and i expect no one to read them. to read the comment please click here (btw, the guy/girl who wrote this is seriously pissed because i used the f word a lot in that entry. what does he/she do? use it right back at me! in fact, suggests that i perform the physically impossible and do it to myself to make myself feel better).

thank you, constant reader(s), you made my day!