Wednesday, January 31, 2007

undead mummies

as i was walking down the long tunnel which is the main bulk of dubai's international airport, and passing rows of chairs which are placed there for the comfort and convenience of weary travelers, i noticed something out of place. among the chaos of the travelers, on the floor beside the chairs, were bundles of blankets. the blankets were vaguely human-shaped. i stopped to further investigate.

now you must imagine the picture. there were tens of these mummies thrown along the tunnel, all placed in intricate positions to allow as many of them to fit along that line, all wrapped in different-colored blankets. i got closer to one and was rudely shocked by a movement under the blanket. there were people underneath! they were sleeping, wrapped head to toe in the blankets. literally. don't they suffocate? do they live there? is there a creepy mummy-nation resident in dubai's airport? the look of the crowded bathrooms seemed to confirm that theory (i had to stand in line to pee, and that's in the men's bathroom, the business lounge was literally over-filled and people were being sent away!)

if you're ever in dubai, make a note of that, they really ARE there

Sunday, January 28, 2007

backwardness knows no boundaries

i've honestly though i've seen it all with the wedding procession on abdoun bridge, but on a relative scale last night i've seen something much, much more backward. again, this goes to show you that nothing; not money, exposure to foreign cultures or anything apparently can fix backward nations. shamefully, it's the nation of which i'm part.

i was driving down szr (sheikh zayed road), which happens to be one of the main roads in dubai last night. the road is 5 lanes of beautifully flat dried petrol. to those who don't know dubai, this road is like a main artery in dubai, so it's always packed going one way in the morning and packed going the other in the evening. but around 10 it's nice and free. last night i was going home around 2330 and i was doing a comfortable 120 when all of a sudden the traffic slowed. around me i was seeing crazy people in cars waving uae flags and honking and shit and my first thought was "we must've liberated palestine!" but it turns out the uae beat ksa in a soccer match. wtf is wrong with these people? don't they realize how insignificant that is compared to anything worthwhile in the world? to go around all patriotic like it was a great national victory is silly, but hey, people are entitled to their pet peeves.

that, of course, until you realize how backwards they are.

the traffic kept on slowing to a complete stop. a couple hundred meters ahead smoke starting rising. white smoke. the sort of smoke that burning rubber makes: not fire burning but donut burning. the fucking idiots slowed the traffic, blocked all 5 lanes and started doing donuts. they blocked a fucking highway to do donuts because they won a soccer match. can we blame hitler for wanting to burn us alive? after what i saw last night i feel like burning myself in an oven.

dubai traffic festival

that is what the people living here call dubai shopping festival. although this isn't true because dubai's traffic is nightmarish all year round, trying to do shopping in that sale is an absolute nightmare.

mind you, i hate shopping. it's such a burden and i have no idea how females stand it. i buy clothes as to not look like a bum (although i end up looking like one anyway). it's my brother and mother who pushed me to shop. now if shopping sucked before, it was absolutely horrible this time. see, there were sales and we were near the end of these sales.

the shops look like their storage rooms have thrown up in their showrooms. clothes, shoes and accessories all compete for the limited space which is usually empty outside of the sale season. you have to literally dig through piles of clothes to hopefully find something your size. which reminds me, when did guys shrink as to that an xxl doesn't fit me? i know i'm big but what can obese people do? wrap themselves in blankets?

then of course there are the hoards of shoppers. i know the prices are reduced but the shit isn't for free. i think the concept of paying for less is attractive, regardless of how much the stuff actually costs.

idiots (including me).

Monday, January 22, 2007


karaoke means empty orchestra.

we were the first people to arrive at c-bar, so we had our choice of songs, but those who came in after us were really unfortunate. when my turn came to sing, the place wasn't crowded enough to drown my voice, so during my song i could see people running out of the place with their hands covering their ears with what looked a lot like horror covering their faces. i couldn't tell for sure cuz i couldn't hear through my singing, but i think they were screaming in anguish. when the first one ran out i turned around to check if there was a fire or something behind me, but apparently it was only me they were fleeing.

i didn't mind, i had a blast. in fact i decided to bestow my voice upon these people every week.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

new hijri year

habby new hijri year, boys and girls.

it's been a war here in dubai, since the government decided that the public sector will get sunday off instead of saturday, but the private sector will get nothing extra off (except lazy companies like ours, he3). the public opinion is hilarious:

concerned newspaper reader: "if the gov wants more locals to join private companies, what kind of message will this be sending out?"
sami: "dear concerned idiot, if one is thinking about joining the private sector and is having second thoughts because in the days of the public sector he had an extra couple days off a year, i think the private sector will be better off without him"

other reader: "how come the public sector gets an extra day off? does that mean they work harder than we do"
sami: "no, idiot, it doesn't, it means that they work less than you and that extra day is just further proof of that concept"

long days, pleasant nights..

Monday, January 15, 2007


ok cirque du soleil is one of the best experiences you can go through in an adult lifetime. i've seen it on tv but to see in real life is something else. it leaves you absolutely spellbound. i really really REALLY enjoyed it. if you're reading this and in dubai drop everything and go buy a ticket NOW.


what are you still doing here? go. go, yalla.

sex on wheels

ladies and gentlemen i found heaven on earth. and it's not having sex in a car but it's the cars themselves. i have never been as happy, excited or ecstatic as i was watching a car race in dubai.

it was a 24 hour race, with three classes of cars. of course the gt3 class was the kick-ass one (mostly porsche gt3's with a single bmw z4). the sound of the cars quickens your pulse no matter who you are, the speed, the cars, the smell, the noise of squealing tires. orgasmic. did i mention the noise? man that was the part that absolutely amazing.

pics, of course, are below. yummy.

dirty windows

how excited do you think people can get about windows being cleaned? check this out (btw there are three elevators, each with a similar notice and similar replies. the funniest was "i can see again!")


i've been without internet for 5 days. i have 75 emails in my work inbox and 30 in gmail. not a fun day.

in other news, i have three new entries, so there you have em.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

city mall

ah, back to amman. i love that city, despite its recurring patterns of self-inflicted injuries. the story a friend of mine sent me only confirms my suspicion: there's something wrong about us (ammanites).

the story is of that of city mall, a new mall in amman. those ammanites reading will feel a familiarity that only comes from living there. btw specsan was added as an author here but after she thought it was men's non corpus i had to remove her. sorry specsan, it's nothing personal.

so here goes (abridged, cuz it's a little long):

"a new mall opened in amman, city mall, well actually one part of it, carrefour hypermarket. yes and people have been hyper about it and are pilgrimaging to it. you know, i have been ashamed when i visited it as far as the mall in the whole is concerned. ... and inside, my horror was only magnified. we do usually have better interiors than exteriors. ... a sad sight was when i passed a not-yet-open shop beside carrefour and it had heaps of dust above its extruded logo.
judging the prices of stuff i buy from their other store, i know they can afford a cleaning person. ... [my personal favorite] places like mecca mall and city mall are the black holes of amman. they just suck the main players in city life: human beings who find little forms of urban public life. sometimes, they can't be blamed. after all i hit these places. "

there's more, but these here just go to show you that it's the same crap, over and over.


i got an email from nolenvfemino yesterday, and i read it. following is the content:

subject: Re: my radioactivit


Well that macho fat thug Svinjar for one. King of the Machmen. Then
Ten seconds, no more, I admonished. Survival was a harsh
I turned and looked at Iron Johns giant throne.
Oh-so we have remembered it at last. Dont you want to know what it
just as completely as you are.
I already know, I said.
could stumble over they had lifted him and were following the guard,
reached down and opened a valve and I could hear the gurgle of liquid
Horse-but no rider, I said.
and an arm in a sling. The aged artifact lay on the table before them

i couldn't stop laughing after reading it. i know it's spam and i know it's a smokescreen, but damn i've never read anything funnier. "survival was a harsh". it's a nice, yeah?


you know there are many fast fixes for bad mood: indulge in a bucket of ice cream (or other comfort food), shopping sprees, female company, etc, but i discovered one that will instantly make any normal person feel better: buying a sword.

i bought a sword a few days back. i real, old, antique sword (not sure what kind of history it has, but damn it looks cool). i grinned like a fool that whole evening i got it. and when i see it i smile and pull it out like i'm about to decapitate someone and nearly ruin a sofa and tear down the drapes.

an excellent experience i'd recommend to everyone. if you have ideas of what to name the bastard i'm open to suggestions.

Monday, January 01, 2007

please explain my husband, er, me as a husband?

that's the title of a book (the first part, that is, but it sounded like i'm gay so i added the second part) that explains why men act the way we do (sorta like the mars and venus book) and clicking here will take you to an overview with some thoughts. women, oh dear, crazy women, get a hint.

happy new year everyone!