Wednesday, February 28, 2007

not alone

his breathing never really slowed. he thought that by walking through the rain he would cool down, that his tension would ease. but his anger was too great, too determined to let him go. his fists were clenched, his nails digging deep into his palms. his breathing was calculated. and heavy. like an iron pendulum it raised his chest and lowered it. his walk nearly matched his breathing. with determined steps he pushed the way behind him, every step taken to restate his anger. his frustration. he didn't walk quickly, or slowly, but with the intentional steps of rage barely under control. with every step his sandals hit the wet ground his body got ready for the next one, raising his foot to relink it with the ground a few feet further. the rain flowing down his hair, face, clothes, eyes, nose, ears and toes didn't slow him down. he was drenched but didn't notice. he didn't notice the dark either. he was shaking with rage, not cold.

when he approached the other he didn't see him at first. not because of the dark, but because he didn't see him. the other was slightly slower, walking with a casual stride, his sugegasa shielding him from most of the rain. when he saw him his first thought was sheep. sheep, cattle, all to the slaughter. he felt his breathing slow a bit. he was gaining on him. he felt his breathing slow and he heard the rain less and less, his footsteps further and further away. his breathing slowed, his hearing lowered and all he could see was the other. his sugegasa, his casual stride, the sound of his footsteps. to the slaughter. sheep. he was gaining on him. he grasped his katana's tsuka. all he could see was the other, all he could hear was his footsteps, with his heartbeat faintly in the background. his training had taken over. when he was but an arm's length from him, his katana left its saya, in a round motion that went from bottom to top, from kidney to shoulder, both his hands precisely gripping the tsuka, a matter that took a blink beginning to end.

sheep to the slaughter.

Monday, February 19, 2007

death of a blogger

i'm vain and selfish. i believe in equal shares (that is, i am vain as a i am selfish).

as such, i would like to announce that specsan is no longer among us (bloggers, that is). nice thing about blogging is that people get resurrected all the time. as such, keep tuned in for spec's blog (just don't hold your breath).

if you're a fan/friend of spec, please pour your anger in the comments section below. i promise to read every one of them and wonder what you're hoping to accomplish being angry at a virtual character.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

lovers' hell

i hate valentine's

i hate the red. i hate the hearts. i hate the over-priced roses and the cheezy chocolate boxes. i hate that chics expect some sort of recognition of this totally artificial commercial scam of an occasion. it's not enough that their schizophrenic personalities keep us on our toes 95% of the time, some idiot who wants to sell greeting cards decided to make that time feel like a relaxing holiday. i hate that people congratulate each other and that it's impossible to go out because of all the special offers restaurants have. i just absolutely hate it.

habby valentine's day, boys and girls.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

going gray

my father's hair went gray in his early thirties. now you need to understand that hair on my dad's side of the family is used to roughly describe the coarse substance growing on their heads. the up part is that they go gray, not bald, so it's a mixed blessing. on mom's side it's soft, smooth hair. they have the tendency to go bald (at least my uncles and grandpa).

i inherited the bad hair. when i used to cut my hair mom used to gather it to use it to scrub out stubborn spots around the house. my girlfriends had to wear leather gloves to "stroke" my hair. but, deep down inside, i was consoled by the fact that at least i won't go bald. the few gray hairs i have near my temples tended to confirm that. but to "handle" my hair i shave it off every couple weeks.

recently i let it grow longer and all my bets were lost. it turned out my hair is thinning. i really wanted to have gray hair rather than no hair.