may they burn in their personal hell

i live in dubai. it's not bad in general, except we have etisalat.

etisalat is the most expensive, least efficient and most horribly over-subscribed service provider in the region. we're stuck with them. i don't have the choice of going anywhere else. i call and yell till i'm blue in the face to get someone to get to my house to fix a connection that's been down for a week now, but it's useless. this is a summary (and i do apologize for the length - it's needed to highlight the pain i went through):

call 1, tuesday 11th:

"my internet is down"
"ok what's the brand of your modem"
"siemens blah blah blah"
"are the lights on?"
"yes"
"ok connect your laptop directly to the fiber optic modem"
"ok"
"now enter your username and password"
"i don't know them"
"ah you need to reset your password"
"how?"
"go to www.e4me.ae and place a request there, then call e-services help desk and ask them to reset it"
"ok... but you know the dhcp on the modem isn't working at all, so it's not a password issue"
"no sir without a password i can't help"

of course they don't tell you how you're supposed to access the website without an internet connection. luckily i have my trusty mobile. i login and reset the password. i call the call center after that.

call 2, tuesday 11th:

"i reset my password and i'm calling you"
"why?"
"the call center told me to"
"no if you've accessed the website there's no need"
"ok, do i need to do anything else?"
"no, it's ok, but it needs 24 hours"
"24 hours to reset a password?"
"yes"
"ok thank you"

call 3, wednesday 12th:

"my internet is down, and i called yesterday, and..."
"ok what's the brand of your modem"
"siemens blah blah blah"
"are the lights on?"
"yes"
"ok connect your laptop directly to the fiber optic modem"
"ok"
"now enter your username and password"
"entered, still fails"
"ah"
"as i've told your colleague yesterday, the dhcp isn't working"
"ok then we'll need to send a tech, please take the complaint number, someone will contact you"

silence all through thursday, so i call on friday - what an idiot expecting them to work over the weekend.

call 4, friday 14th:

"sir no one has called"
"sir the complaint needs 2 business days, and since you logged the complaint on wed, then you had thursday and friday is off, so you may expect a call on saturday, but they work half-day, so maybe sunday"
"ok thanks"

call 5, sunday 16th:

"i have a problem with my internet and you've promised to send a tech and no one's here"
"sir what kind of modem do you have?"
"no, no i don't want you to fix it, i just want to know where the tech is"
"account number"
"blah blah blah"
"ah sir, someone will call you"
"i have called a week ago and still no one is here"
"sir they need 2 working days to get there; you called on wednesday and friday and saturday were off, so today is the second business day"
"but i called on friday and you told me that sat is a working day"
"no sat is off"
"ok when can i expect the call"
"within 2 days"
"yes, today is the second day, what time"
"i don't know sir i don't have their schedule"
"ok how about you give me their number, i'll call them"
"sir they don't have a direct number"
"ok... how do you get in touch with them?"
"we file the complaint and they get it" (in other words, magic)
"ok, so can you please put a note that i asked for a follow-up?"
"ok, done"

call 6, sunday 16th:
"i have a problem with my internet and no one has called"
"sir account number"
"blah blah"
and i swear he asked me this again "sir what brand of modem do you have?"
"no no i don't want you to fix anything, i just want to know when you'll send the the tech"
"well, sir, what lights do you have on the modem"
*facepalm*
"i tried it all, i used a wire, i connected directly to the modem, i tried all the diagnostics 15 times and it's still not working, i just want to know where the tech is"
"ok sir, please take this tracking number"

call 7, monday 17th"
"no one has come"
"i see here that you've filed to complaint on wed"
"yes, that's what i said, now where is the guy?"
"sir i've made a rush comment, here is the tracking number"

and here i am writing this blog from work. needless to say, it's still not resolved but i do have 3 tracking numbers and i know the exact key combination on their ivr to get directly to a live agent. ha! take that etisalat!