Tuesday, August 29, 2006

so you're having sex tonight

i was driving home alone almedina street this evening. everyone living in jordan knows how friggin jammed that street can get during summer. so returning from my kickboxing class, which usually puts me in a good mood, i was listening to music, enjoying myself and driving leisurely, when i spotted a rather unnatural traffic jam. it was a wedding procession.

now those idiots had three lanes jammed up with cars that were mostly saudi. they were driving at a dangerous 20kmh and they were honking their horns and two cars had people in them with video cameras and shit. oh the joy. the incredibly idiotic backwards inconsideration of the wedding procession. what is the very big deal about two people getting married? i mean, in the summer i'd estimate there are 50 weddings a week in western amman alone. that's 500 per summer. at least. i don't see a wedding out of 500 as a special event. i mean the only special thing about that specific night is that the newlyweds can have sex. big fucking deal. now that's something i know at least 5 million people do each night! so all the people getting married out there: spare us the agony of sharing your joy and limit the sharing to those closest to you, preferably in a party without loud music or fireworks.

which brings me to the party: the insensible expenditure, the endless noise, the waste of food. i hate weddings as we hold them in jordan. weddings now run between 5 and 10 thousand dinars in hotels. 10,000 dinars. do you have any idea what kind of money that is? with 10,000 dinars you can get one of the following:

a decent used car
really nice furniture for a small house
decent furniture for a larger house
a kick-ass home entertainment system with vibrating leather chairs
two really fancy honeymoons
5 average honeymoons
10 simple honeymoons
5 smokin laptops
start a small business
place a down payment on an apartment
pay for gas for an average car for 60 months
rent 10 very very exclusive escorts
start a war in africa

or if you're into philanthropy, the numbers become more staggering
feed 100 poor families in jordan for a month
feed 1000 poor families in africa for a month
support an orphanage for a month
pay the zakat equivalent for 400k
equip an ambulance for the red crescent
build a school in africa

so really, why spend 10,000 when one can spend 1,000 to feed one's family and close friends and put the rest to better use?

and to all the cynics out there: from the feedback i'm getting from my parents (and other parents in general) it seems that i will hold a wedding such as the one i just slandered. hypocrisy? perhaps. but i won't be happy about it.

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