witty tshirts

i love the onion. i think their satire is the best available anywhere and i would give my pinkie toe for a chance to work with them. i don't know if i have the wit, but they are the funniest, smartest people out there (barring 4chan, of course, but those people are hard to swallow to all but the most hardened cyber residents).

a considerate friend got me a "the onion" mug. on one side it reads "the onion", and on the other (the one that people can see when a right-handed person is using it) it reads "i wish i were dead". i was foolish enough to bring the mug into the office and weirdly enough people actually use it. i mean i thought the office was generally suicidal, but it turns out the problem is much simpler than that: people themselves are simple, they don't read what the mug says.

of course this problem is but a symptom of a bigger issue, which is people reading what's on anything they use. this includes mugs apparently, but also tshirts, notebooks, anything someone idiotic enough can write useless nonsense on. useless slogans, meaningless information, self-advertisement and downright babble are all plastered on anything that'll hold ink.

i guess i just want to say this: read. before making yourself a bigger fool than you already are, read what you wear and use, it might save you one day.